Why Marriage Feels Like a Guilty Pleasure for Indian Women – And Why I Reject It

From a young age, I believed I was growing up in a progressive, values-driven family—one where my parents shared chores, decisions, and responsibilities equally. Yet, as I grew older, that belief shattered. I realized that the societal concept of marriage, and women’s role within it, is often suffocating. It made me question relationships entirely and reconsider the very idea of marriage.

The Reality Check: Women and Work in India

According to Statista, women’s participation in the workforce in India dropped from around 36% in 2021 to just over 33% in 2022, while men’s participation increased to 67%. This stark gap reflects a deeply ingrained societal conditioning: women are often steered away from careers and financial independence, while men are encouraged to thrive professionally.

Three “Essential Values” Imposed on Indian Women

1. Be a “Good Girl” to Become Marriage Material
   From childhood, Indian women are conditioned to conform: “Aapki beti to dikhti hi nahin hai, badi samajhdaar bachchi hai.” Deviate, and society threatens to outcast you. The underlying message: your value is tied to obedience, modesty, and adherence to tradition.

2. Marriage Is More Important Than Career
   Society constantly whispers: “Beta, life partner to chahiye hota hai, career to secondary hai.” Women are shamed for prioritizing ambition over matrimony, and subtly blackmailed into believing their life’s purpose is marriage.

3. Be Financially Dependent and a Caregiver
   The implicit rule is that women should support their husbands and family, often at the cost of their independence: “Ghar to tumhe hi sambhalna hai, bachchon ki zimmedari to maa ki hoti hai.” Women are trained to nurture and care, while men earn, creating an unequal power dynamic that persists across generations.

Experiencing Sexism in Everyday Life

I’ve personally felt this. From being praised for not dating to being scolded for not conforming to “Good Girl” standards, I’ve been conditioned to prioritize societal approval over personal choices. Even within supposedly modern workplaces, remarks like “She ONLY takes care of the family” highlight how caregiving is undervalued, and women’s achievements outside the home are often ignored.

The Conditioning Starts Early

As a child, I was forced to grow my hair a certain way, wear specific clothes, and present myself as a model daughter. Every act was scrutinized for compliance with gendered expectations. I realized that nurturing, caregiving, and domesticity are not inherent to women—they are socially assigned roles.

The Double Standard of Marriage

For boys: career first, then marriage. For girls: marriage is compulsory, career optional. Sexism doesn’t just discriminate; it dictates the timeline and parameters of an Indian woman’s life.

Why I Reject Marriage as a Priority

At 30, I’ve chosen to delay marriage for three reasons:

• I want financial independence.

• I refuse to internalize sexism.

• I want to prioritize my own life, growth, and happiness.

Marriage may be a societal ideal, a “guilty pleasure,” or a dream for many—but for me, self-worth and autonomy come first. I may exist outside traditional frameworks, but I exist fully. And that, in itself, is revolutionary.

Closing Thought

We are not born nurturers or passive caretakers. We are conditioned to fit into gendered molds. Rejecting marriage—or at least refusing to let it define our identity—is not rebellion; it is self-respect. And for many Indian women, choosing themselves over societal expectation is the truest form of liberation.